to a friend of mine,

i don't get how you think it's okay to do what you're doing right now, how you're able to tell me all the things you do with a smile that never left your face, how you don't seem to find anything wrong with your words & actions. this isn't meant with any offense but remember what happened last time? do you really want to risk losing this person? think back to how you felt about four months ago. i know things aren't easy for you & that you're going through alot. believe me, i do. but did you ever think that the things you say and do kinda affect those around you as well? especially that one kid... what happens if they find out? i mean, you're not exactly being that secretive about it nowadays. i will never mind lending you an ear and will always be here for you when you need me... i just don't quite feel like it's a reciprocal thing. it's like you spill everything on me without thinking of how i'd react to it. you claim that friends are the most important people in your life, right behind your family, but i can't help but doubt that at times. can you blame me? think about it... if you found out that this was about you, you'd probably ask me why i don't just talk to you about it. again, can you blame me? sometimes i wish i could tell you everything to your face, but you make it too hard. it's like you have some mentality that i'm out to get you and i'm only trying to prevent you from being happy. i can assure you, that's definitely not the case.

i needed to vent.
sorry for wasting a couple minutes of your time if anyone actually bothered reading all that.