summer resolutions.

1) i still want a wardrobe makeover. i've been talking about that for like ever. i've started giving away a bunch of stuff already... so all i have to do now is start shopping for goodies (:

2) i need to go on a freaking diet. but uhh, knowing me i sure as heck ain't gonna turn into one of those calorie counters. SOOO, my plan is to eat more veges & exercise more. time for morning tennis sessions & dust off the mechanical bicycle. & maybe, juuust maybe... i'll start cutting down on the sweets. haha these thunder thighs MUST GO.

3) i really need to focus on these stupid SAT classes my parents enrolled me in. aiming for at least a 2300 or it'd be a waste of money :/

4) i WILL get out of the house at least once a week. being a couch potato will completely contradict number 2 on my list up there. soo make some plans with me, yee?

5) i need to finally learn how to play guitar. learned all the chords.. just can't seem to put them together quite yet.


more to be added later.
& updates to come !

I refuse to say goodbye.

because goodbyes are forever. & well, i'll be seeing my oxnerds again... so it surely isn't forever. it's more like 'see you in a while'. gosh, i never thought i'd get that emotional but the emotions just started overwhelming me. the memories came flooding back like a freaking hurricane or something. i find it funny when people tell me to stop. it's just not that easy, kids. i can't just suck the tears back into my eye sockets and put on a happy face. seemed like every time i pulled myself together & calmed down, another person would come up saying "Oh my gosh, you're leaving?! I'm gonna miss you!" then the waterworks started again... and again.. and again. so i'll try to keep this short & end with thanking everyone that said their goodbyes & hugged me, even if they weren't so close to me. makes a girl feel loved (: & thank you to lauren reed for the panda bear & cupcake! & to kyler & rochelle for those gummybears!



i pretty much wrote what i needed to say in everyone's yearbooks, BUT i'd like to let the world know how much i love my dear friends. yes, i'm talking to YOU, jenny lee, kelly cheung, savannah esquivel, rochelle paz, christabelle musngi, lauren reed, karina carpio, giuliana pham, shahid tam, & kyler walker.

second thoughts.

i realized i haven't included many pictures lately. i figured my blog's getting kind of heavy on the text, soooo here's a tribute to the lovely summer days coming our way (:

onto a more serious note...

i hate change. most of the time i hope for something to spice up my life, but i'm also extremely scared of it. this on the other hand... is not for the purpose of spicing up my life really. it almost feels as though it's something i need to do. i don't quite know how to explain it though, other than what i've been saying over and over. my grades.. the people.. the teachers.. waking up so damn early.. getting home so damn late. [oh, & if you're reading this and thinkin i'm a drama queen, then i strongly advise you to exit off this page right now 'cause it's only gonna get worse from here on out] i burst into tears the other day as i took a leap down memory lane with my buddies. honestly, i never thought i'd miss my friends THIS much. i've kind of always prided myself in being that person that doesn't let emotional 'stuff' get to me. i guess i can kick that theory out the door. i've thought about this every year since seventh grade, but never really took any action about it until this year. i kind of took it a step further with each year. i mean, i know what people are thinking... it's like i'm the girl who cried byebye or something. i assure you, i'm not trying to do anything like that. i'm constantly having second and third and fourth thoughts about it all now. do i REALLY want to do this? to make matters worse, things are actually looking up for me too. if only life was being a biotch as it was a couple of months ago, i'd leave lickitysplit, no questions asked. but things have changed a bit. i mean, i still have time to back out. it's so tough, but i mean.. is this just all my emotions talking? when i made this decision, i had a clear mind. a very set, clear mind. but i just don't know anymore. do i stay and go through yet another year of wishing i had actually done it? ooor do i leave, and regret it? either way, i think there'll be a hint of regret involved.

i give up.

good thing summer's just around the corner.
time to forget everything and start over (: